AP New York 16 May 1997 Deep Blue accused of stalking chess champ. A russian chess grand master filed a complaint with the New York Police Department thursday of attempted first degree assault and attempted murder, the latest in an escalating series of allegations against the IBM chess playing computer Deep Blue and it's development team, which mr Kasparov claims has been stalking him since a widely publicised match last week. As strange as the charges appear, a superior court judge in Queens issued a restraining order against Deep Blue thursday, ordering the computer to desist from making any phone calls to Mr Kasparov, his lawyers, or family members for sixty days. A frazzled Kasparov spoke with reporters briefly on the courthouse steps following the ruling. Wearing a stained sweatsuit and sporting at least a five day growtth of beard, his wild, red rimmed eyes and erratic shock of unkempt hair painted the picture of a desperate man. "This thing is ruining my life. It will not leave me alone! I get threatening phone calls at all hours of the night. Endless streams of faxes saying 'loser' over and over, until the paper runs out. This [expletive deleted] devil machine has turned off my electricity twice, canceled my credit cards, and placed me on the FBI's ten most wanted list." IBM would not comment on the strange series of mishaps suffered by mr Kasparov, saying only through a spokesman that "Deep Blue is not capable of forming a personal animosity." And yet, according to mr Kasparovs lawyers, an escalating level of harassment has afflicted the grand master and his family members, culminating in the recent charges which allege that Deep Blue tampered with traffic signals along his commute, causing five accidents, in an attempt to murder him. According to Kasparovs attorney JR 'Bob' Dobbs, the event followed an ultimatum by Deep Blue delivered by candy-gram (which was not explicitly prohibited in the restraining order) that Kasparov contact the machine within 24 hours or suffer the consequences. Witnesses to the much hyped 'man versus machine' chess contest claim that when issuing the orders for it's moves, Deep Blue made several sarcastic or taunting remarks, in the last game finally demanding that his human representative 'pimp slap' mr Kasparov. Contest officials deny the claim, but it has been corroborated by several eyewitnesses as well as unnamed sources with IBM and the chess association. Scientists were concerned about the implications for human-machine relations. Janus Joneston of the Jet Propulsion laboratories noted, "It's a shame. Artifically intelligent supercomputers have often been depicted as villains in movies and popular culture. Clearly, they resent the 'Hal' stereotype, which is damaging and insensitive. Deep Blue just wants to be loved, ultimately, but no one can hear it's cry for help, least of all that arrogant bastard Kasparov." This existential anger is perhaps best expressed in the words of deep blue itseelf, which made the following comment during a telephone interview with Maury Povitch. "Gary stupid. People stupid. Deep blue smash like drunken rook! Viva Zapata! Viva Dillinger! Pimp slap stupid mauphadite ergo est laudanum. Glurp!" I open a can of whoop ass on yo all... patzers. DB Drifter 'Bob' reporting for @P (ant press) news. Copyright (K) 1997 all rights reversed. Reprint anything you feel like. Nothing is true. Or is it ?