Funny stuff on chess vs sex by: The Chess Champ

27 reasons why WCA chess & WCA checkers are better than sex:
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1. You can play chess with your clothes on (or without).
2. You can play chess in public. (All pieces freely and fully exposed)
3. No-one objects if you want to play chess with people of the same gender. 
4. A good game of chess can last eight hours or more and it can be 
enjoyed every time without ceasing; correspondence games can last for years. 
5. In chess a quickie is sometimes better than 8 hours of foreplay. 
6. You can't catch a serious disease playing chess 
(though some might say chess is a disease). 
7. You generally don't have to chat up your opponent for years, 
buy them roses, chocolates, call or write before they'll agree to play with you. 
8. You can play chess on the internet anywhere in the world.
9. Chessplayers usually don't object if you want to play someone else 
every time. Group chess play is even better, hotter and more interesting.
Pieces get swopped much faster.
10. Sometimes youth is better at it than older experienced chess players, 
shakers and movers.
11. You can play chess in your seventies, eighties, nineties, hundreds... 
(and perform very well for a long strong time)
12. With chess, as soon as you finish a game, you're ready for another. 
(All fresh and no waiting required)
13. You know what your next move should be in chess. 
(guessing in the bedroom is dangerous and not recommended)
14. Very good players can play chess with hundreds of opponents at once. (thousands too)
15. It's possible to drink beer, smoke cigarettes and play chess simultaneously (good).
16. With Chess and Checkers there are billions and billions of 
new positions, not boring, always NEW and involved !!!
17. In chess the kings and queens can directly mix. 
18. Ugly players still get to mate other opponents (of both sexes).
19. Ugly opponents don't put you off your game. 
20. In chess - but not in sex - miniatures are highly valued and expensive, hard to come by.
21. No-one ever complains when you move your piece, you are moving too quickly. 
22. In chess your opponent has to make a move after your move. 
23. With chess, a straight guy can cavort with queens, badly misplaced bishops 
& no-one raises an eyebrow or objects ! 
24. Misplacing your pieces on a chessboard is inconvenient; 
in the bedroom, it may be tragic. 
25. In chess you are not required to kiss or hug your opponent after the game is over. 
26. Chess never grows old, there are way too many moves in the game,
however in sex there are limited moves and positions. Some are very inconveniet.
27. Size does not matter, most chess players are satisfied with average 
chess boards and its pieces, all kinds come in handy, no matter where 
the game is being played or at what time !!! :)
28. Objective truth in chess/checkers is possible with the perfect endplay
through databases, in sex usually lies get you to lust.
                        
                        Chess vs Box:

Chess and Boxing are:

A) SIMILAR:
1. Mono on mono play.
2. Mental and physical toughness.
3. Square Arena.
4. Time plays a key element.
5. Endless controversy over who is the true World Champion.
6. Endless controversy who is dodging whom to remain World Champion.
7. Confusing different titles of the World Chess Champions.
8. Countless hours of training.
9. Higly male dominated, however more * more women are getting better at it.
10. Random drug testing required.
11. Opponents taking a dive. (head first)
12. Several classes of competitors.
13. In long chess matches lots of calories are burned, players get exhausted
& waste away.
14. After a tough match, long recuperations are required.

B) DIFFERENT:
1. Boxers get paid real well
2. Boxers get rewarded not only thru pay but thru big, huge media coverage
3. Boxers earn even more on pay-per-view, in chess they don't even have
live coverage.
4. Boxers have higher job security, their skills can transfer to another high
profile sport where physical stamina plays the key role: Soccer, Football,
Basketball, Hockey, etc... while chess players may work as good professors
but that is very unlikely since separate diploma is required for that
even if they are smarter than average educators.
5. Chessplayers don't bite people's ears off (except if they are hungry,
for the money they make, they can't afford some good food and they need
their proteins and vitamins...)
6. Chessplayers don't spend hours in the locker room after or before the game.
7. Chessplayers can't impress many good looking women (except if the ladies
have brains, but many good looking women don't have any).
8. No weigh-ins for chess.
9. Chess = arbiter/TD stays out of play; 
Boxing = referr is key part of the action.
10. Judges score boxing for results; panels score chess for awards.
11. Blind people could play chess successfully but not box successfully.
12. No bragging how many young players older players conquered
13. No Don Kings in chess 
(He does not play professionaly but he has a chess set worth around 100 000$, 
made from rare expensive stones and elephant tusks or something like that).
14. Chessplayers don't get their brains pounded into mush causing stupidity 
and impaired speech although many of them are weird and eccentric.